When I woke up this morning I realized that I had to make a mad dash to Wal-mart so that I could get what I needed for supper tonight. I also realized that it is going to be insanely cold the next few days, so I had better be prepared with another meal, just in case.
While at our lovely Champaign Wal-mart, I was reminded of how unmannerly people here are. A man, knowing that I was trying to get to a product that he was standing in front of, refused to budge from where he was standing. I stood there for a few seconds and then politely said, excuse me but may I reach in front of you to get that can of kidney beans? He looked at me as if I had grown horns from the top of my head, grunted and moved.
As I was checking out, the cashier didn't look at me one time nor did she try to acknowledge my presence. The only thing that was said was " $63.10". When I was finished paying I said to the cashier, " Thank you very much. Have a great day". You could tell that she wasn't expecting me to say that to her. She stumbled over her words as she tried to say thank you.
Ryan and I have been amazed at how rude the people here are. Now, not everyone in Champaign/Urbana are rude, but for the most part they are. I can't tell you how many times I have gone to open a door only to have a man walk in front of me and not hold the door open. Things like that just erk me! If someone does something nice, you say thank you. Not so much here.
Now, where I come from you would be considered uppity or uncivilized if one were to do the things that I just talked about. Very improper! So, I have compiled a list of simple southern manners that everyone should know. I am raising my kids to use these manners and I am trying to instill them in my husband as well.
If you're not from the U.S. South, you may wonder why we southerners behave the way we do toward one another in terms of manners. Having proper manners in our everyday actions is a way of life in the South. They stem from our famed southern hospitality. Manners matter in Dixie. Good manners make life more pleasant for everyone, and you can never take them too seriously in the South. Having bad manners will cause other southerners to question your upbringing. So, if you want to know more about southern culture, are planning a trip to or within the South, are planning to move to the South, or are from the South and need to brush up on your manners, then this article is here to help. Remember that good manners are not reserved for
special occasions. They are something you do every place and every day, and our friendships and relationships are based on how we treat others on a daily basis.
Above all, say "please" and "thank you". Always saw please whenever making any sort of request. You may further express thanks by saying something like "Thank you very much, I really appreciate it." If you don't get what you want, say something like "well, thank you anyway." You should also use "May I," "You’re Welcome," "Excuse Me," and "Pardon Me."
Also say "yes sir" or "no sir" and "yes ma'am" or "no ma'am" at all appropriate times. If you don't use these you may be viewed as arrogant or disrespectful, or uppity.
Several fundamental tenets of southern manners:
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Be humble - Always put others first and yourself last ("after you..."). This is rooted in Bible
Belt theology. Acting uppity, selfish, or self-centered are certainly not good manners.
-Be courteous - This stems from the Golden Rule ("Do unto others as you would have them do unto you).
-Behave yourself - When in public, don't be rude, brash, loud, uncouth, coarse, or cause a commotion. If you do act that way people may think you weren't raised properly and don't know better.
-Be friendly - Act this way towards everyone whether you know them or not.
-Be modest - this is similar to being humble. In other words, don't brag on yourself.
~Here are some other tips (but this is not an exhaustive list of course):
-Always ask for something, but never demand it.
-Refer to females as "Ladies".
-Chivalry of all forms is well appreciated throughout the South.
-Hold doors open for others.
-If you're a male, walk on the street side of a sidewalk when accompanying a lady.
-Men stand when a lady enters the room.
-Remove your
hat, if you're a male, when entering a building. A hat should also be removed (by men) during the national anthem, the raising of the flag, funeral processions, and prayer.
-When at fault, own up to it and say you're sorry.
-Say "pardon me" or "excuse me" when having to walk in front of someone or if you bump into someone.
-Err on the side of being too nice.
-Know proper table manners and always use them.
-Make eye contact with people and say "hi, how are you" or an appropriate greeting to them depending on the time of day ("good morning", "good afternoon", etc.).
-Conduct small talk with others whether you know them or not (particularly in stores and restaurants, etc.).
-Respect elders
-Be gracious and extend hospitality whenever possible. Offer guests in
your home food and drink.
-Don't interrupt.
-Shake hands with a firm grip.
-Don't be in a rush and impatient all the time. Things move at a different pace in the South.
-Keep your word.
-Stand by your family.
-If someone has had surgery, a new baby or a death in the family, organize the neighbors to all take turns fixing dinner for the affected family.
-Welcome new neighbors.
The pictures above are of the town that my family is from: Madison, Ga.
Picture #1 is of The Morgan County Courthouse seated in Madison.
Picture #2 is of downtown Madison.
